fight

Husband and I had a fight Saturday night. We hardly ever fight, we hardly ever even get snippy with each other, unless he's drinking or I'm hormonal. We had both going on this weekend. Not good. 

There was a baseball game on the tv Saturday right as he got off work. We were playing our biggest rival, so he went up to our favorite bar, grabbed a stool, and proceeded to drink about 4 Miller lites  before I got there. I had been shopping with my mom all day and hadn't eaten any lunch, so screw the game, I needed food. But being a nice little wifey, I sat and watched the last two innings with him. 

I think I create problems sometimes. I know I do. The whole time we were there I was counting his drinks. He doesn't drink often, but when he does he has trouble stopping himself, and the more he has the less like himself he gets. He gets angry or rude or brash when normally he's sweet and charming. So I know he saw me counting those drinks, watching him like a hawk. And in my mind I'm building up to this big blow up, just knowing it's coming. Whether it is or isn't, in my mind it's a sure thing, and I think that makes it happen.

But he knows he's like that and does nothing to stop it. So we're both to blame.

As we were leaving, trying to decide on dinner, a woman passed us presumably looking for a parking spot. He tried to wave to her to show her we were leaving so she could have our spot (there's that sweet charming guy), but she didn't see us, and an angry mean man came out. He called her (and no she couldn't hear or see us, but that's not the point) a bitch and a fat cow. WOW. So I called him on it, of course I did, looked him in the face and told him that wasn't appropriate. He took offense at my taking offense, saying that he was just blowing off steam, he wouldn't have said it if she could hear us, and what difference did it make to me.

The difference that it makes to me is that THAT is not my husband. That is not the man I married, and I hate that man. That man is the type of man that I've dated before, with no regard for feelings, angry at nothing, spewing hate misdirected. I don't want to know him and I don't want to see him. But he comes out of no where and it scares me.

I tried to explain this, but my super-rational anyone who's not as rational and logical as me is wrong husband doesn't get this feelings crap, and so he never quite understands me. Almost but never all the way. He kept saying that she couldn't hear so what difference did it make, and I said I could hear, and it makes a difference to me. We went back and forth like that for a while. I wasn't going to apologize for getting mad him for at his comments. I think any normal woman would have gotten mad there. I apologized for being in a not-so-good mood at the bar and allowed that maybe that didn't help things. But he would not apologize. He never apologizes. When he does, it's an I'm sorry you're angry, not an I'm sorry for what I did. What is it with men, especially so-called logical men like him, and not admitting they're wrong?

Am I completely out of line here? Did I overreact? I'm known to do that a few days before ol' Auntie Flow visits. 

But I guess if this is our biggest problem, we're doing all right comparatively. It was forgotten the next day. Mostly.