the worst day

I've been lost since 6 a.m. My phone beeped loudly at me, protesting its dying battery, and woke me from a deep sleep. I never did get back there, drifted in and out of consciousness for a couple hours, and woke up to a raging headache.

I debated an imitrex while showering and getting ready, and by the time I pulled into the office I had taken one. By ten my headache was gone, but that pill always leaves me feeling so heavy, like I have weights around my wrists, and my thoughts play bumper-cars in my head. But it could be worse.

At eleven, while debating a menu design with a coworker, I looked up and couldn't see her face anymore. The lights are, right now, on the very outer rim of my vision, meaning I've got about 15 more minutes until the pain sets in. The nausea already has, roiling and curdling my stomach. It's been so much worse with my last few migraines.

And my Dr. Pepper has given me a painful case of hiccups.

I just want to go home. I was overcome with the need to go home like I haven't felt since I was a child at school, the way it pulled me, like if I was just at home on my couch in my pjs all my problems would disappear, or at least not be so bad. Tears welled up in my eyes, my blind eyes, and I reached out to my husband on our chat window that's always open. He made me laugh, as usual, making jokes about David Blaine causing illusions inside my head, which made me feel a little better.

I'm worried that the pain will start even though I've already had a pill today. I don't think I can take another one. Even if I technically, medically, could, I don't know that I would want to. I don't know that I could handle it. Plus I don't have one anyway-- the packet is at home. So I'm praying now nothing will happen. The lights are gone now and my vision is returning, and I'm hoping against hope the crushing ache won't be so bad with the pain killer already perusing my bloodstream. Please.

What a day, and it's only 11:30. At least it's Friday.