Saturday I had to go to the bank to deposit a check. Sitting in the drive through, thinking about how the otherwise pretty girl behind the glass had to get up early enough on a Saturday morning to not only get to work on time but also to apply the masses of eyeliner and shadow she was wearing, I caught a glimpse of my make-up-less reflection on the glass, and I thought for a second my mother was in the car with me.
My mother is a pretty woman, especially for 56-- you'd probably guess upper 40s, low 50s if you had just met her, and she has good bone structure. So this isn't a disappointing realization in that sense. But I myself am aging, quicker than I had realized. I have "wrinkles," really more faint lines, if I'm being nice to myself, forming around the corners of my mouth. I tell myself this is good-- it just means that I smile and laugh a lot, that I live a good life and am blessed. But there's that nagging thought in the back of my mind that I'm not as fresh-faced as I was, that when we go out now people look at me as aged, not young and cute like the little college girls running around town. I'm jumping the gun on this, I know. Good grief, I want to be seen as an intelligent woman, not as some inexperienced little girl, so what's my problem anyway?
On Sunday the most intellectually stimulating activity I did was order pizza and play the Wii, so we'll count that as one of my rare thoughtless days.
This morning on the way to work I was considering the idea that life is really just a series of small tragedies and small victories. The rivet front button above the zipper on my new jeans popped off this morning (and despite it simply being poor construction, led me to feel fat and disappointed that I am now out a new pair of jeans), but my boss said of me that I am overqualified for my position and is considering a new and better one for me. The printer refused to cooperate with me this morning, but someone left me a caramel chocolate covered apple on my desk as a present. Up and down, up and down. Caramel chocolate apples are a pretty big up though.
I have also acquired wrinkles and my mother also looks younger than her age suggests, as did my gran. So, I have some hope that I will age gracefully and descend into a genteel old age.
ReplyDeleteI had two cups of tea made for me today, so I'm not sure that I can compete with your ups!