Shadows of thoughts

My contacts are so dry today. It's finally pretty outside, at least from inside looking out. Another day of rain and I was going to start to forget how pretty the shadows of the trees look stretched across the gray asphalt of the parking lot outside. No leaves on those trees, so the shadows look like long skinny fingers, elegant like my mother's, stretching for something just beyond their reach and waving at the wind. The wind is making everything dry though, even after all that rain, and it's reaching into my eyes behind my contacts and wiping away all natural moisture. I have to blink over and over to keep my vision from blurring. 

Snow would be nice. Yesterday was cold enough for snow but all we get is very cold rain. There's always a warm pocket of air somewhere just above those naked tree tops that melts the rain as it falls. I've seen real snow probably 5 times in my life here. Of course I've visited other places and have seen it there. Kansas City gets real snow. Munich, Germany... visited there in the depth of winter two years ago, and the sight of 4 foot snow drifts chilled me for months afterwards. I don't think I want to see that again. I'm not comfortable with it.

I'm comfortable with cold rain and dry winds in the winter and hot, humid, sticky summers. Neither is good weather for smokers. I watch the people at the office building across from mine go out back and brave the freezing rain or harsh wind (not to mention the dust from the construction nearby) all for that cigarette. Two boys in blue stock-room style uniform are leaning against the tan brick right now, so nonchalantly, squinting in the sun, each with one foot propped up against the wall, like they don't notice the dusty wind trying to knock them down. I've never been so in love with a habit that I would put up with that kind of adversity in order to participate. 

The shadow fingers get longer as the day goes on, reminding me there's only 30 minutes left to work. They almost point the way home. I'm glad it's Thursday, only one day left this week. It's been hard, this first week back after vacation, to get back into things. I feel confused a lot with this new job, not sure if I'm doing the right thing. But I'll figure it out.