cool down

Little brother got on his flight yesterday and is gone. My mother, though at first she suggested dinner, decided she needed to rest too, so they ordered pizza over there and I made manicotti at home. It was nice to have a bit of peace with my husband. I ate lunch with my parents and my older brother today, and it was nice-- not one cross word spoken. That rarely happens, but it's a more common occurrence if at least one of the brothers is not there. My parents have gone back to their hometown, but they left my older brother here. He doesn't want to drive home until after the holidays-- nothing to go back to, he says. I don't blame him.

I got a facebook message from my little brother earlier today. No apology, no, it was "I didn't want to stay at your house anyway" and "I don't have to prove anything to anyone, I'm a man" bullshit, ended with the comment that I won't be hearing from him again. Part me is playing a tiny violin for him, like my grandfather used to mimic when one of us was telling a sob story, and the other part is thinking that I hope he's telling the truth. No part of me is worried. I'm too drained to care.

Right now I'm comfy in a huge fleece jacket on my couch, Bub rooting his nose under one arm and the laptop keeping my legs warm. I have heartburn from too much Indian food, but personally I think that's a good problem to have. Husband is flipping channels between Family Guy and football, so he's happy too. We had a good, productive day-- after lunch we went to Home Depot and got a new faucet for the guest bath. We want to change all the faucets in the house (the builder put in the cheapest ones available, $14, with clear plastic handles) but we started with just one to see how hard it was to change. Took about 45 minutes, no big deal, so husband's going to buy two more tomorrow.

An aside, I love that Gap commercial with the little girls rapping about comfy sweaters and cute boots. I fully understand that it ticks all the annoying boxes, but for some reason it's not to me.

I wrapped all the presents we had bought this afternoon as well, pretty in snowmen and wreaths and candy cane paper with big bows and sparkly name tags. I'm finally getting in the Christmas spirit, not a moment too soon.

I want to thank everyone for their kind and thoughtful comments both on yesterday's post and on the previous post about having children. I feel very blessed to have such intelligent readers, and I learn from each of you. I can be a downer sometimes, I'm sure, so thank you all for sticking around and offering your advice, condolence, or just an open ear. Gives me faith in humanity.

Time for a piece of that fudge my mom brought up with her.