making my day

I caught a sob in my throat on the way home last night. Leaving the big highway for the little highway, on the off-ramp a weird sadness overcame me. The sky was so beautiful, with rays of sunshine filtering through the blue gray clouds, and it made me think of heaven and those I love that are there. I don't actually believe in "heaven," not the heaven of the Bible anyway, but I do hope that there is somewhere souls go when they leave their earthly vessels, that is if we don't just return to another vessel.

But there I go rambling about my agnosticism again. That's never a short conversation. Full of maybes and what ifs.

Everything annoyed me yesterday. My boss, my coworkers, the woman that appraised our house for our refinance, the grocery store check-out guy, other drivers. I was glad to make it home. Yesterday was a sad day, and even though looking up from my office window today all I see are low hanging light gray clouds, the sun's reflection off them nearly blinding like that off new fallen snow, and I know that at some point today it's going to rain, hard, and that I will probably be in the dentist's chair with a needle and a drill at my mouth when it does, I'm determined to be happy today, to make this a good day.

And if I can't in the end, there's always tomorrow, when all of this will be behind me and the sky will be yellow and blue again.

One bit of good news that I hope will last me through the downpour and the mouth pain: I'm pretty sure I'm getting my way at work and will be taking over the creative side of our business. Right now I'm the catch-all person, the office manager, the momma of the office if you will. The girl that had been in charge of creative development is getting more and more into software training, and she likes that, so someone needs to take over all the website, logo, and other design stuff we do for our clients. I'm the logical choice, and luckily I have a rapport with the graphic designer we use. Meeting with him at 12:30 to go over several projects, then off to the dentist. What to eat for lunch first? Something that doesn't stick. Ugh.