around and around

Life is so funny sometimes. I've been cruising along lately, conscious only of weeks and not days, time zooming past like race cars on the track. Suddenly it's 80 degrees outside and time to put away the sweaters. I'm a week and a half from being 27 when the last birthday I really remember was... 23? No, 24 was a good one, we were in London. London was three years ago. I'm shaking my head at my keyboard, wondering where in the world the time went and what in the world I've done with it. 

I've driven the same car since my sophomore year of college. My father helped me buy it. It was his idea, and it was too expensive for me, so he helped me out because he wanted me in the safest car available. My aunt, my mom's little sister, who had been born with scoliosis and so spent her life with her head tilted to one side in a constant questioning motion, was killed in a car accident that year. She and I drove the same kind of car, and although what actually killed her was scar tissue breaking off from an earlier spinal surgery and clotting her lungs, my dad freaked out a  little and bought me a BMW with steel side bars and roll-down air bags. Used, but nice, especially back then.

Now I call it the ghetto-W. The windows won't roll down anymore, and sometimes the doors refuse to unlock. I replaced the reverse gear and the coolant system a couple years ago (has it been a couple years really?) for a whopping 3k. Everything on these German cars is more expensive to fix, like 3 and 4 times more. A headlight bulb costs me $25. 

So yesterday, on the way home from work I was sitting at a red light listening to NPR's All Things Considered, some story about Obama and credit cards, and suddenly my car raised and lowered, like I had gone over a bump but was sitting still, and I heard a ka-plunk. And my check engine light came on. I thought for a second the guy behind me had bumped me, but I could still see his bumper in my rear view mirror, so I knew it wasn't him. I immediately called my husband, and we agreed I should turn around and drive it to the one guy in town that works on BMWs. He opened my hood and there was oil everywhere. Awesome.

So we are carless. We borrowed a car so that we could get to work this morning. His car quote was $407 (as I said yesterday, his fan threw a blade into his radiator, so we're replacing both). Who knows what mine will be.

It's enough to make me want to lock myself in the house all weekend. But there are worse things that could happen. If he comes back with another 3k quote, it might be time for a new car. As much as I don't want to take on a payment right now, at least we probably have the resources to do it. Life is all about our reactions to things, isn't it? And my husband and I spent most of the night laughing about this. I just hope I can keep laughing when I hear the news, good or bad.

Edited to add: Husband just told me that as a part of our refinance, there's an extra $1400 in our old escrow account, and they'll be mailing us a check in 30 days. Now I'm shaking my head again, in disbelief this time. I just never know what to expect. Life is a roller coaster, that's for sure. I'm glad I like roller coasters.