boycott

I hate Valentine's Day. I think it's a stupid, consumer-driven, Hallmark-created, pointless "holiday" where people who are single feel lonely and depressed, people who are unhappily coupled feel even worse than usual, and those of us who are happily coupled experience performance pressure and the need to buy crap. 

I'm boycotting Valentine's Day, because every day should be Valentine's-- we should always tell those we love how we feel, and we should always strive to do special things for the important people in our lives. But I'm also boycotting because all the years I spent single and alone and all the years I spent with someone and yet still somehow alone on this "day of love" aren't made up for by the happy ones I have now. They still exist in my memory, as spotty as it is sometimes. 

Well, I bought a card for my husband. I'm not a very good boycotter, even though I try to boycott a lot of things. I'm only even a pesco-vegetarian, couldn't even go all the way there. Oh well. 

I don't know why I'm ranting about this. I actually don't care very much. Just left-over disappointments trying to bubble up to the surface and sabotage me. I'm feeling very loved lately. I have an amazing husband who still adores me even after living with me for over three years, but it's not that cheesy buy-me-roses-and-chocolates and rub-my-feet adoring kind of love. It's subtle, like the way I catch him smiling at me for 

no reason, the way he always remembers to kiss me goodbye, and the way he emails me a couple times a day, even if he has nothing important to say.

If I had to pick a feeling right now to write down as My Feeling for Monday, February 9th, 2009, it would be Loved. That's pretty nice, isn't it?