Food in the workplace is a bad thing. If someone brings homemade cupcakes, how can you not eat one? You can't say, "Oh, I don't like cupcakes" because who doesn't like cupcakes?? And I've already well-established my love for chocolate, so I can't pull that one. I can't say "oh, I'm watching my weight" because then I get the "but you're thin and perfect" and "look at me, I should be watching MY weight" and "just one won't hurt, they're really good...." No, I'm not trying to diet, I'm just trying not to add. I had mexican for lunch. I love cheese, it's a terrible affliction. So I've sinned for the day. Now I've got homemade chocolate cupcakes with sprinkles staring me in the face, and coworkers ohhing and awwing about how yummy they are, tempting me to eat one, devour one, smother myself in one, bathe in one... I love chocolate. Did I mention that already?

There were donuts here yesterday, and store bought things are just as bad as homemade, because then not only did someone put thought into bringing something nice into the office, they put hard-earned money into it too. I managed to only eat half a donut and threw the rest away while no one was looking. That's a lie, I ate 2/3rds. Or 3/4ths. But not the whole thing!

I should bring something healthy in, something like carrots and humus. I don't think I'd get quite the same reaction as chocolate cupcakes and donuts though.

The office has declared me the Queen of Bullshit, by the way. I end up doing a lot of the emailing to our clients, so I often have to side-step sensitive issues, dance around the real questions, and be vague while at the same time direct. I'm pretty good at it. So good, in fact, that I do it to myself when I lie about how much of a donut I ate. It was all but a bite. Like that last bite was really going to matter.

Fuck it, I'm eating a cupcake. I'll just go for a walk. Or I may be bullshitting, you'll never know. And neither will I.