pains

As if $75 for birth control isn't enough, my new insurance also raised my Treximet (migraine med) price, from $50 to $100. Luckily my (very awesome) pharmacist told me there was a $50 coupon online I could print out, so I should be good for a few more months now with the new prescription. And really, I'll probably just pay the $100 next time as well. Nothing else has ever worked the way Treximet does for me, and with as few side effects as I've ever experienced. A little flushing, a little bit of an on-edge, drunk type feeling, but mostly I'm fine, and within an hour pain-free as well.

I've had a headache since Friday. Friday afternoon I took a Treximet and was good til Saturday morning. Saturday afternoon I took another and was good til Sunday mid-day. I haven't taken another yet, though my head is pounding pretty good right now, all around my right eye, as usual. Not so much that I can't work, but enough that I don't want to work.

Speaking of pain, my little brother contacted me again last week. He was apologetic and said he's officially off all drugs other than pot. Since then he's messaged me and called me, and he seems mostly back to normal. So I've let it go, all that pain from the past six months of anger. I'm chalking it up to him being a dumbass and messing around with stuff he knew he shouldn't be, and luckily he found his way out of it before there wasn't a way out anymore. I told him how great I thought he could be, how spectacular his life could be, if he stays clean, and he agreed. He's got one of those dynamic, idea-driven minds, the kind that can accomplish so much if not inhibited, and the only thing that was inhibiting was drugs.

He's driving a friend from Portland to Alabama as his friend's dad is very sick with cancer right now (that's the kind of guy my brother usually is, the kind that drives a friend half-way across the country at the drop of a hat) so they're stopping here overnight on the way, and we're going to dinner. My husband hasn't seen him since the day just before Christmas when I kicked my brother out of my house and called my husband sobbing, so I hope husband can be as forgiving as me and not kick his ass, which is what he's been claiming he would do for six months.

I passed the day of my last hug with my grandfather without thinking about it. I thought about it the week before, and obviously now, and I'm sure I thought about him that day since I think about him every day, but I did not acknowledge that last touch with any tears on that day. It's the first time since his death that I haven't. Is that progress? I'm not sure. It doesn't feel like much, and I'm also not sure I want to make progress.