sharing of pain/rules and regulations/the choice

1.
On occasion, I come across someone I want to collect. It could be a friend, a coworker, random acquaintance, a one-time interaction, a person passed on the street, or someone I have never met. There will be something about this person that makes me believe they belong in my life, something that draws me to them, leads me to want to keep them always. Attitude is a big draw-- I'm pulled toward people with a laid-back, calm, positive outlook on life, the kind of people that could weather a storm and come out on the other side with a determined smile. I also tend to feel a pull toward independent types, the ones that walk or talk or dress or act in an original way, not affected or fake, but just fully themselves. Another draw, I have discovered, seems to be common pain, crippling pain, like a migraine. People who have true migraines know the meaning of hurt, and when we find someone else who shares this, we tend to want to swap and compare sympathy, tips, and war stories, but we also feel drawn to keep these in a special place in our hearts and minds. I recently discovered that John Mayer, the musician, has a type of migraine similar to mine-- with aura, brought on by weather changes-- and though I have always enjoyed his music, I now feel a kind of kinship that I didn't think was really possible with someone I don't actually know. I feel like we should be friends on that basis alone. Because of our shared pain, a pain that no one else can really understand, I'd like to add him to my collection of similar souls.

2.
People need rules to survive, not to mention succeed. How many times and what type of food to eat every day. Share. Bathe frequently. How to tie your shoes. Look before you cross the street. Etc. It makes sense, then, that at work most people need rules and regulations to follow to ensure that they meet the goals and objectives of the company. Unfortunately, we've been lackadaisical thus far in creating these processes for people, relying solely on good will and trust for work to be done. No longer. Without rules, people get lazy. Apparently most people, if they don't think anyone's watching, will test the boundaries, and when they don't get in trouble, they stop work altogether. We tried to motivate by inspiration, saying Look! We'll be a great company, we'll all have great success if we work hard together, but for most people, all they really care about is the paycheck. This is simply a bump in a long road, not a lifetime commitment like it is for those of us who started it. If we want them to succeed, we must give them the means. The means can also cause failure, which for some of them may be more likely. This is my life lately.

3.
A month or so ago, I made a conscious choice to be happy. I looked despair and frustration and worry straight in the face, and I said no. I forced a smile on my face and added a bounce to my step, and after a couple minutes, I felt a release. I wondered why I was ever unhappy in the first place. Now when I feel myself brooding, that process of choosing to be happy takes a lot less time. I remember that it's possible, and a contented, peaceful feeling spreads over me. It's almost like knowing that I have a choice whether or not to be happy makes me happy in itself, and thus the choice is made for me. I suppose it sounds too good to be true, that the secret to happiness is just to choose it. The first couple of times there was more of a process, a train of thought I had to follow, about how all the terrible things happening were, in a grand view, not that terrible, and even if they were, there was nothing I could do to fix them. All I can change is my reaction to them. I choose my reaction now, and my reaction is to smile, laugh knowing that this too will pass, and move on to better thoughts. It's a trick I want to teach every unhappy person I know, but unfortunately it seems too many people are making conscious choices for unhappiness. I would worry about them... but I choose not to.