I had a beautiful, relaxing weekend. I needed it. Friday night I went to a college baseball game (we are season ticket holders), and though it was cold, as long as I was wrapped up in my coat I was fine. It was nice to sit and chat with friends about really unimportant things. Saturday I ran errands and did chores around the house, then had a quiet night at home with my husband, tuna hibachi take out, and a movie. Sunday was beautiful, so we went again to the ballpark, sat in the glorious sun, and drank a couple beers before heading home to bed before 9 p.m.

Today I've been fighting a bit of a migraine, probably brought on by the changing seasons. I feel like my right eyebrow is drooping. I recognize this face in the mirror, not because it's mine, but because it's my mother's, looking out at me like somehow no time has passed and I'm still a child, tiptoeing around her bedroom door, trying my best not to disturb her sleep. Her eyebrow used to droop, too, when she had a migraine, and the pained look on my face reminds me so much of what I saw in hers.

They have moved my grandmother to my hometown, in preparation of their own move here this summer, and I am ashamed that I have not been to visit her since her move. She doesn't know it, of course-- she doesn't know anything about the current time and space. But I know it. Somehow that alone hasn't compelled me to go see her, that guilt, because seeing her causes pain of its own that is most of the time worse than the guilt. Her face doesn't remind me of anything anymore; it's so changed simply by the look of knowing that's gone from her eyes. But I will go see her today, after work.