distant as the milky way

I woke up in a terrible mood. I've been grinding my teeth at night (I do that when I'm stressed; the last time I was doing it this badly was when we were living in London, barely scraping by financially, I was neck-deep in my graduate dissertation, and my grandfather was back in the States dying of cancer). This type of clenching and grinding eventually works its way down my neck and into my shoulders. My teeth feel misaligned already, and I'm just waiting for the morning that I wake up and can't turn my head. It's happened before, I feel certain it will happen again. Only a matter of time.

I digress.

So I woke up in pain, again, and when my iPhone alarm went off, I noticed I had several unread emails from overnight. One of these was from a particularly angry customer. I spent the rest of the morning agonizing over having to once again come to work and fight these uphill battles, extinguishing fires only to turn around and find more, no rest or respite from the war.

I'm thankful for music today, for the healing and uplifting power it has. Stevie Wonder sang My Cherie Amour over the radio waves just for me this morning, and one can't help but feel happy listening to that song. It encouraged me to keep the good feeling going, so I put on a song that always gives me energy to face anything-- American Girl by the Heartbreakers. By the time it was over, I was at the office, had finished my cup of coffee, and was feeling much better. Well, minus the teeth.

My husband got his Christmas bonus today, finally. We had started to get worried though the boss kept promising it was coming. Enough to cover the windshield we had to buy when mine got cracked by a rouge rock, and no less than last year's bonus, but not enough to make either of us jump for joy. His pay is mostly commission based, and though when he started he was making a good amount, he actually pulled in less than me this year. I'm grateful that even though we're pulling in a good $15k less than we were two years ago, we're still able to live a steady and pretty comfortable life. Thank goodness for our levelheadedness.

But seeing how little we're making also brought to mind all the less stressful jobs we could be doing for the same amount of money. He could be working at his favorite upscale men's clothing store (the man is a clothes horse, so good at dressing others, and he loved working there in college though that was only part-time), and I could be working at a local art gallery. We would both be on the town square, we could eat lunch together, people in town would see us around and think "where do I know them from..." the way we do with people we think of as town characters, or townies, and we would be more fulfilled and less stressed. Alas, neither of those places is hiring, just like everywhere else, and even if they were, I highly doubt that it would be as perfect as I imagine. No where is. Not to mention how painful the ripping off of my current job band aid would be. Ouch.

I have a favorite massage therapist in town, and I need to get in to see him. His next appointment outside my work hours isn't until Tuesday, though. He's gotten too popular. I guess I should have kept my mouth shut about him. But I am glad to see he's succeeding and thankful that at least someone is doing well in this economy. I wonder if I called him if he could sneak me in. I guess it's worth a try.